Mindful Relationships

Mindfulness is the seventh step on the Eightfold Path and is the key to Buddhist mental training. What is the Eightfold Path? To answer that question, let’s firstly look at one of the most fundamental Buddhist teachings, that is, the Four Noble Truths. They are among the truths Gautama Buddha realised during his experience of enlightenment. The Four Noble Truths are as follows:

  1. The Nature of Suffering. Suffering exists
  2. The Origin of Suffering. Suffering has a cause.
  3. The Cessation of Suffering. An end to suffering can be attained.
  4. The Way Leading to the Cessation of Suffering. There is a means to end the suffering.

The means to end the suffering is the Eightfold Path. It is the middle way between the two extremes of excessive self-indulgence and excessive self-mortification.

Understanding where mindfulness sits in the Buddhist teachings helps us to understand its importance. If everything that happens is a result of causes and conditions, it is important to be aware of exactly what is happening and of our feeling and thoughts in response to what is happening. Mindfulness is a quality of mind that can strengthen our awareness of the causes and conditions determining this present moment, and our awareness of how we are relating to these causes and conditions.

So if we want mindful relationships with family members, we may need to change our habits and patterned responses to these people, and to do this we need this sort of mindful awareness. This way we can be aware of the arising for instance, of annoyance, and be fully aware of it, instead of responding to it inappropriately, such as by wanting to get rid of it through changing the external environment.

To be mindful, need not be difficult. Mindfulness is one of the treasures of human nature. We can all be mindful.

Mindfulness is a state of awareness of the object we want to concentrate on. The experience of mindfulness is one of clear alertness. The word ‘mindfulness’ comes from the Pali word ‘sati’ which is an activity. So mindfulness is something we do.

It is only because of countless habits of thought and action that we find it difficult to practice mindfulness.